that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
