Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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