We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
