Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
Randomize
