FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
