so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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