what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
