Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
