i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Randomize
