Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
