Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
MIDGETS
????
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
