But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
