Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Randomize