Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Randomize
