you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
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