When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
