Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize