if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
