Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
