what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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