Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
