I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
Me too!
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize
