I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Randomize
