Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
