The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
