I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
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How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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