It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
