I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Randomize
