insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
