My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
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