Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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