No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Randomize
