so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
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