just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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