they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
