"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I'm sobbing to NWA
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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