Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Randomize
