i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
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