now i know why i became what i already was.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
