There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize
