Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Randomize
