You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Randomize
