That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
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