If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
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