he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
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