Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Drunk is a universal language darling
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