just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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