u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
He? As in you personified your dick?
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
