i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Randomize
