And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
