If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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