i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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