Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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