Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
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