It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
