guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
