What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
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