Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
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