her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Randomize
