this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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