If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
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