Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
