woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Randomize
