how can u be prego again
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Randomize
