Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Blow job season was short but glorious.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Randomize
