STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
Sorry about my life...
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
