I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
