I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
